10- Being pregnant sucks

So now i am in week 35 and i think i am depressed, and people are stupid.

I dont want people telling me that it will be ok or what so ever, because they dont know, no body knows.

I am scared of dying during labour, so much scared of it, and i am terrified of labour itself specially that i cannot reach a pain relief option that i feel is a great one.

I dont want it with epidural and i dont want it without epidural.

I have bad back pains, bad stomach pains, and my colon is dying.

I cant believe that i am pregnant and i cant believe that i will have a child.

I really cant believe, i love him but i cannot grasp the idea itself.

And the people are stupid and they are making me more angry and depressed by saying everything will be ok, or that everyone does it.

People are doing everything everyday , people are dying every day, so everyone does it is not a good thing to be said.

And giving birth is messy, and it has a 100 different senarios, no matter how i think or read, it is not enough

Nothing is enough.

And i am not ok.


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